Kelley Counseling and Wellness

Last week we touched on the importance of developing a sleep schedule. That is a great place to start but that is not the only thing that will help you get the healthy sleep you need.  Developing an evening time routine that helps with winding down can also be very beneficial. This will look different for different people, the important part is to develop a routine that works for you. Individuals that are struggling with not being able to "turn off" their brain to fall asleep may benefit most from developing a wind down routine. Do you need to start winding down 30 minutes before bed? An hour? Two hours?  Find what works for you, it might take some time to find that sweet spot but it can make a big difference in the quality of sleep that you get.  As I said this will look different for each person but here are some ideas to get you started: - take a hot shower - do some light stretching - bedtime yoga practice ( here 's a great 7 minute ...

Intention With 2017 right around the corner, New Year’s resolutions are a frequent topic of conversation. I have heard many clients, friends, and family members talking about ways they hope to better themselves in the year to come. One theme I have noticed has been, “be more intentional and help others”. Intention and controlling the things that one can control is a subject I discuss with clients frequently. Not only in terms of their own actions and the impact on their lives, but also in terms of modeling healthy behavior for their children.   Teaching kids from an early age that, while they may be small, they can still make thoughtful, intentional decisions gives them a stronger, healthier sense of self. We can further aid the healthy development of a child’s sense of self by empowering them to help others. This not only shows them the impact they can have, even when they are not yet adults, but also helps them become more connected to their community. None of us live...

Enough Here is a reminder for anyone that may be struggling right now. You are enough.  It is important to remember that you have to give yourself credit for what you ARE  doing, as opposed to thinking negatively about what you are not doing.   If we focus completely on the negatives of our situations, it may feel like we are never good enough, never pretty enough, never smart enough, never happy enough, etc.  However, this is all relative, and measured based on opinion.   When thinking about Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences  (see more here ), one can see that there are so many different ways to be "smart".  So, to assume that you are not smart because you score highly on musical intelligence as opposed to logical-mathematical, is simply a matter of opinion and what you place value in.  We must learn to recognize our own strengths and see the positives within ourselves, and not compare outwardly to the strengths of oth...

Do you constantly worry about the needs of others?  Are you so flexible with your schedule that it leaves you with absolutely no free time? Do you constantly feel like you are running from one place to the other with no breaks? Do you skip breakfast because you are too busy to eat?  Are you sacrificing everything for your friends, family, job, education, etc.? If so, it is time to learn what the word "self-care" means.   Self care is defined as "care for oneself" (Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, n.d.).  That seems simple enough, however, after considering all of the examples above, are you really doing a good job of taking care of yourself?   Self-care is also defined by what you consider to be important for your own well-being. This can be broken down into basic areas of concern. The following chart is a great representation of some of the various aspects of self-care.   So after looking through those aspects of self-...

We all deal with anxiety every day in some shape or form.  Sometimes it is a minor stress or worry, and other times it can be a major distressing event that causes us to lose sleep and worry constantly... Being under constant stress is unhealthy for our minds AND bodies, therefore, we often try various techniques to relax, which are wonderful and effective.  HOWEVER, have you ever thought about grabbing a can of play-dough when stressed?  Well, play-dough can actually be extremely useful!  Think about the use of a stress ball... just having something in your hand to squeeze when you are feeling tense can give some relief.  So the use of play-dough can be very similar.   You could also go about this in a different way and even find that inner child, and use the play-dough to distract yourself for a few minutes, and build something out of the play-dough.  Anything that distracts your mind from the constant worries/stresses can be ...

Ever feel like the very thing you are trying not to think about you become or do? Many people are stuck with anxious thoughts and feelings that they just cannot seem to get rid of!  Any time a client or friend brings up being stuck I like to bring up the analogy of riding a bike. You know the feeling ... hands on the bars, two feet firmly planted on the pedals and off you go. Moving swiftly forward we aim stay on the right path, often straight, in order to stay safe and get where we want to go . Now what if when you were on this bike I told you " do not look at the tree to your left!" well often times even being told not to   do something puts your focus on it. You may look at it directly or even just out of the corner of your eye and if your looking at the tree there is a good chance you will drift towards it, even if you did not want to. Anxiety, depression, bad habits and other feelings of being stuck in life can be  very similar to the tree when yo...

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. " - William James This quote seems appropriate for the start of our new blog, seeing as this quote inspires me personally, to be highly aware of my own thoughts.  James was definitely on to something. The ability to focus on, understand and modify one's thought processes is now a major practice in a number of counseling theories and techniques today.  To name a couple of the evidence based theories that we use regularly at Kelley Counseling - Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).  Both therapies have a component of becoming aware of our thought patterns and learning to choose healthier, more positive thoughts, which in turn leads to less emotional distress.  Though James was not around to see CBT and DBT flourish and become increasingly important in the counseling world, it is evident that he was aware of the importance of examining our...