Showing posts from October, 2015

Perception, Perspective, Point of View, Frame of Reference, Mindset, etc.

As I continue working with couples, parents and children, families, etc., it is becoming very clear that perspective can be a major point of distress.  In couples counseling, a number one issue I continue to notice, is one partner not understanding the other's point of view and assuming that their own understanding is the true and correct answer.  This leads to conflict, and one person feeling defensive, because they are being told that they are wrong, and that their point of view is inaccurate, invalid, unimportant, etc.  This same dynamic can be seen within families.  For example, a child is trying to explain why they unloaded the dishwasher in a different way than their parent prefers, and the parent discounts the child's views, automatically telling them they are wrong.  This leaves the child feeling defensive, confused, invalidated, and unheard.  
So how do we work to improve this disconnect in perspective?  One exercise I use often in therapy, is  reflecting, or having …