Kelley Counseling and Wellness

As I continue working with couples, parents and children, families, etc., it is becoming very clear that perspective can be a major point of distress.  In couples counseling, a number one issue I continue to notice, is one partner not understanding the other's point of view and assuming that their own understanding is the true and correct answer.  This leads to conflict, and one person feeling defensive, because they are being told that they are wrong, and that their point of view is inaccurate, invalid, unimportant, etc.  This same dynamic can be seen within families.  For example, a child is trying to explain why they unloaded the dishwasher in a different way than their parent prefers, and the parent discounts the child's views, automatically telling them they are wrong.  This leaves the child feeling defensive, confused, invalidated, and unheard.   So how do we work to improve this disconnect in perspective?  One exercise I use often in th...

There is not a whole lot to add to this post.  The above image really says it all.  We must face the very thing that brings us the most distress in order to move on and live a happy and fulfilling life.  Otherwise, we will continue to go about life being fearful, anxious, depressed, confused, resentful, hurt, angry, lonely, etc.  This will be no small feat, it will be a journey with bumps along the way, however, the destination is well worth it.  Allow one of our therapists at Kelley Counseling to be your comforting and supportive companion and guide for the journey.  Sometimes, there is no need for elaborate therapy techniques or theories, you simply need a supportive, therapeutic bond with someone who will be there, while you explore your deepest fears.   The therapeutic relationship is all you need.   So contact us today, if you are ready to free yourself.  We look forward to joining y...

Creating a glitter calming jar is an easy calming tool that you can make yourself at home! This is wonderful for children, teenagers, OR anyone that wants to try something new to help manage a variety of emotions.   A glitter calming jar is wonderful, because it is so versatile! Here are a few suggested uses:  Shake really hard when feeling angry, then sit and watch the glitter settle, by the time the glitter settles, you should be a bit more relaxed and ready to deal with whatever made you angry in the first place (you will be calmer, and able to make better decisions vs. the heat of the moment decisions).  Shake the jar, and watch the glitter fall as you have the desire to self-harm, distracting yourself from the painful emotions you may be experiencing, and the urge to harm yourself.  Shake the jar, and watch glitter fall, while counting your breaths to calm your anxiety.  Shake the jar and use it for any other reason you need distraction, a few mi...

Ever feel like the very thing you are trying not to think about you become or do? Many people are stuck with anxious thoughts and feelings that they just cannot seem to get rid of!  Any time a client or friend brings up being stuck I like to bring up the analogy of riding a bike. You know the feeling ... hands on the bars, two feet firmly planted on the pedals and off you go. Moving swiftly forward we aim stay on the right path, often straight, in order to stay safe and get where we want to go . Now what if when you were on this bike I told you " do not look at the tree to your left!" well often times even being told not to   do something puts your focus on it. You may look at it directly or even just out of the corner of your eye and if your looking at the tree there is a good chance you will drift towards it, even if you did not want to. Anxiety, depression, bad habits and other feelings of being stuck in life can be  very similar to the tree when yo...

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. " - William James This quote seems appropriate for the start of our new blog, seeing as this quote inspires me personally, to be highly aware of my own thoughts.  James was definitely on to something. The ability to focus on, understand and modify one's thought processes is now a major practice in a number of counseling theories and techniques today.  To name a couple of the evidence based theories that we use regularly at Kelley Counseling - Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).  Both therapies have a component of becoming aware of our thought patterns and learning to choose healthier, more positive thoughts, which in turn leads to less emotional distress.  Though James was not around to see CBT and DBT flourish and become increasingly important in the counseling world, it is evident that he was aware of the importance of examining our...